A book I’ve been working on for almost ten years was supposed to be published last February. At the last moment, the University that was going to publish it dropped their publishing program due to political issues between the departments. There I was, back at square one, not knowing if my book would ever find a “home.” The book is on teaching, so it’s not likely that a mainstream publisher would be interested, and I don’t have the time or cash to spend on self-publishing. When I look back on it, I’m amazed that I’ve spent so many years nurturing and polishing and developing this project. (Patience isn’t one of my character traits.) More times than I can count, I have prayed to be let go of it. I want to move on! I have other things to create and do in this life. Dear God/Spirit, If this book isn’t going to go anywhere, I will let it go now, before I spend any more time on it. I need to cut my losses and move on.
And yet, the book stays put. It doesn’t seem to want to be dropped.
Yesterday I had an insight about process. The final leg of finishing this book has involved working with a graphic designer who has become a great friend. Over the past year and a half, we have worked closely together to develop my vision for the book design. I love her unique, quirky style and she’s captured my vision perfectly. I LOVE what she’s done. The process of working with her has been fun, comforting, heartening, and extremely rewarding. I couldn’t have finished this book without her support. She has truly lightened my load. She loves the book, and she’s 100% behind it, even though she has nothing in particular to gain from its success. When her mother became ill and died, I posed the possibility that I could find someone else to finish up the last little bit of work. She would have nothing of it. This book is her baby too, she basically told me.
When viewed from the perspective of process, perhaps it doesn’t matter what ultimately happens with this book. From a process standpoint, I have been able to work closely with a talented, smart, supportive individual on something we have both cared about. The process has been nurturing and rewarding. Together, we have created good soil. And if that’s all that this has been about, perhaps that’s enough.